I love you.
It sounds too simple. Why can't the word 'love' be elaborated or lengthened to something like...pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
But then, I don't want to repeat that lethal word during exotic sex or whatever; imagine moaning, 'yes baby, keep that monster in me, ah, I neumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis you baby' during sexual intercourse. Thinking of it that way, I decided that I liked the word 'love' more than anything else. It's short; it's sweet' and it's to the point. In that case, I'll stick with the cliche, traditional, overused and entirely fitting,
I love you. (:
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
HJ.
I have a friend. Her name is HJ Lee, and she has been one of my closest friends in Baulkham Hills High School for nearly two years. Our nationalities drew us together as we could talk in a different language that no one else could comprehend; and for the past couple of years, she really has made my time at Baulko shine.
My first impression of HJ is on the very first day of Year 7. Her friend, Annie had asked me whether I was Korean; when I confirmed that I was, she then pointed towards a sitting-down HJ, who waved at me. I thought to myself, 'What a retard'. That was my very first memory of HJ.
The next day was better. We hung around together, HJ, Annie, myself and another girl, Ruth; and we started to form groups, outlining the very basics of a clique. That same clique remains to this day, even though many lines have been erased or redrawn. I was lonely in my new high school; HJ, Annie and Ruth were a complete group, and although I knew my place in it was clear and definite, I didn't want to be there: they were completely alien to me. Me, who loved to peruse Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights instead of chatting away on MSN or Facebook! Them, who stayed up till morning, watching reruns of America's Next Top Model and Australian Idols! It was fortuitous; I was reasonable at faking interest. I've gotten very skilled at faking emotions and feelings now. We just talked, a bit awkward perhaps. We grew closer, though by not much, as I didn't participate in almost all of their actions: I still kept my dignity then.
The rest of it goes in a monotonous fashion; I grew to adapt to my barbaric and brutal high school. I made an image for myself as a perverted strange Korean girl; I did some pretty insane things that branded me as 'crazy'. We've all become good friends, and to think that someone that has been a core member of our class, 8Y of Baulko '09, has left us, cut all of us deeply. We've all given her letters, presents and other memories to preserve; I think it was to make sure we wouldn't be forgotten.
I will miss HJ so much. She isn't a best friend, because she has her own set of best friends and I have mine; but it still doesn't change the fact that she was one of my closest friends in Baulko. She was one of the very core members of the spastic and infamous 8Y; and together, we made the funniest, most perverted and the most memorable memories in our times.
I remember...
The crossbreeding incident in English; the 'map=square' equation in Geography; my crazy star jumps in PDHPE; my 'Harold>William, I-love-girls, I-don't-take-Viagra-every-morning, 'I'm-bisexual' with Mrs. Yassa in History; the 'honey-shut-your-mouth' in English/History (can't remember D:), suck-it-up-princess with Mrs. Bowen in History; the countless bitchings we've done together about You-Know-Who; the food-sharings we've done for years; the rants you raged about You-Know-Who; the bludges in Science; the little mini-discussions we had about God; the times we paired up for assignments like History (and failed!) and Science (you came back from Korea and I was panicking because of our model, and in the end you did the model and it looked like shit, but we still got full marks for the model!); the little chats on MSN, even though we didn't talk much, because I knew she'd be there at school tomorrow; the times when I just observed you drawing your soul away; the times I admired your writing style; the talks we had about stories and plots; your German Knight (we discussed this in History the most, sitting at the back left corner next to the window, with our stories!); the fantastic idea of Polaroid cameras for my letter-style story (which also came in History, with the German Knights); the only time you brought your writing/scribbling book to school and I read it in PDHPE, and you told me not to read the front part, and then asking me if it was good; the way you'd laugh and roll your eyes exasperatingly, and just stare at me open-mouthed and yell 'OMG' or 'Saraaaa!' whenever I made a perverted or dirty remark; the way you'd laugh so hard and cover your mouth with your hand, or 'deskhead' (and you once deskfoldered into the middle of the ring binder!); the hilarious ways you made fun of everyone else, including yourself; the epic comeback against Connor, outside Science, when we were playing the penis game, and Ruth yelled it the loudest and he remarked, 'Do you want one, Ruth?", and you retorted, 'You need one!'; the spastic moments we had in ALL our lessons together, like going spaz in Math last year or History/Science/English this year; the fucktarded Mr. Selway that had 12345678 degrees in Shakespeare and English whatever; your ownage English speech about Hilary Clinton on 24/11/09 Tuesday, and 'North Korea, no one likes you'; laughing at Rudy's chess hero, and how he achieved death at 64, the number of plates in a chess square, and how he hated Jews, even though his mommy was one, and how he was anti-American even though he was one; roflmao-ing at the fact that Mahatma Gandhi was involved in incest, according to Adrian; laughing at Bentinck's 'Michael Jackson baby' in English today, the last day that you were at Baulko; the first and last class photo we took today in sixth period English, where we all came together as an actual class for the first time (Josh was analing me!); in roll-call today, where we jokingly asked not to do our German test because you were leaving, and Frau Nicolle said that you'd want to do it as your last test to remember German (or some shit like that); the experimental report shit we did for Science, and how we ended up getting different scores (that was so unfair-my results were all wrong LOL); how we gave you the 'confetti cannon' in the Music prac room after school yesterday, and how you raged about Mr. Page; you falling on top of Mr. Page during a Music prac class; how Dr. Croyle bitched at you in your last PE lesson; how you bludged everything this week, taking photos and chatting instead, and getting away with it; how you gave Annie your cooking apron and hat in Science ('Annie, you're doing Food Tech next year, you'll need it, it's good to have an extra one!'); how I refused to take a picture with you in period six English (you have no idea how much I regret it now...); how we laughed and got pissed at exams and assignment results (you always did well!); how you broke down early in Term 4, because you couldn't do ice skating with all of your friends in the library (I think it was in Science); how it had all seemed fake when you said you were going to America next year; how it seemed as if you would never leave, staying in Baulko forever; how I'd thought there was plenty of time, when there wasn't; how I thought I wouldn't miss you very much, because I didn't know how much it would hurt; how sweet it was to see Bing Lee and you; and...
Just how you much you were to me.
I promise...
That you were the most hilarious person I've ever met.
That you are the most awesome chick in Baulko '09.
That you'll always be a member of 8Y, '09 Baulko.
That I won't forget you.
And one day we'll look back and think,
Hey, we shined pretty bright back then.
Goodbye, Hyejoo.
All the best for the future. (:
My first impression of HJ is on the very first day of Year 7. Her friend, Annie had asked me whether I was Korean; when I confirmed that I was, she then pointed towards a sitting-down HJ, who waved at me. I thought to myself, 'What a retard'. That was my very first memory of HJ.
The next day was better. We hung around together, HJ, Annie, myself and another girl, Ruth; and we started to form groups, outlining the very basics of a clique. That same clique remains to this day, even though many lines have been erased or redrawn. I was lonely in my new high school; HJ, Annie and Ruth were a complete group, and although I knew my place in it was clear and definite, I didn't want to be there: they were completely alien to me. Me, who loved to peruse Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights instead of chatting away on MSN or Facebook! Them, who stayed up till morning, watching reruns of America's Next Top Model and Australian Idols! It was fortuitous; I was reasonable at faking interest. I've gotten very skilled at faking emotions and feelings now. We just talked, a bit awkward perhaps. We grew closer, though by not much, as I didn't participate in almost all of their actions: I still kept my dignity then.
The rest of it goes in a monotonous fashion; I grew to adapt to my barbaric and brutal high school. I made an image for myself as a perverted strange Korean girl; I did some pretty insane things that branded me as 'crazy'. We've all become good friends, and to think that someone that has been a core member of our class, 8Y of Baulko '09, has left us, cut all of us deeply. We've all given her letters, presents and other memories to preserve; I think it was to make sure we wouldn't be forgotten.
I will miss HJ so much. She isn't a best friend, because she has her own set of best friends and I have mine; but it still doesn't change the fact that she was one of my closest friends in Baulko. She was one of the very core members of the spastic and infamous 8Y; and together, we made the funniest, most perverted and the most memorable memories in our times.
I remember...
The crossbreeding incident in English; the 'map=square' equation in Geography; my crazy star jumps in PDHPE; my 'Harold>William, I-love-girls, I-don't-take-Viagra-every-morning, 'I'm-bisexual' with Mrs. Yassa in History; the 'honey-shut-your-mouth' in English/History (can't remember D:), suck-it-up-princess with Mrs. Bowen in History; the countless bitchings we've done together about You-Know-Who; the food-sharings we've done for years; the rants you raged about You-Know-Who; the bludges in Science; the little mini-discussions we had about God; the times we paired up for assignments like History (and failed!) and Science (you came back from Korea and I was panicking because of our model, and in the end you did the model and it looked like shit, but we still got full marks for the model!); the little chats on MSN, even though we didn't talk much, because I knew she'd be there at school tomorrow; the times when I just observed you drawing your soul away; the times I admired your writing style; the talks we had about stories and plots; your German Knight (we discussed this in History the most, sitting at the back left corner next to the window, with our stories!); the fantastic idea of Polaroid cameras for my letter-style story (which also came in History, with the German Knights); the only time you brought your writing/scribbling book to school and I read it in PDHPE, and you told me not to read the front part, and then asking me if it was good; the way you'd laugh and roll your eyes exasperatingly, and just stare at me open-mouthed and yell 'OMG' or 'Saraaaa!' whenever I made a perverted or dirty remark; the way you'd laugh so hard and cover your mouth with your hand, or 'deskhead' (and you once deskfoldered into the middle of the ring binder!); the hilarious ways you made fun of everyone else, including yourself; the epic comeback against Connor, outside Science, when we were playing the penis game, and Ruth yelled it the loudest and he remarked, 'Do you want one, Ruth?", and you retorted, 'You need one!'; the spastic moments we had in ALL our lessons together, like going spaz in Math last year or History/Science/English this year; the fucktarded Mr. Selway that had 12345678 degrees in Shakespeare and English whatever; your ownage English speech about Hilary Clinton on 24/11/09 Tuesday, and 'North Korea, no one likes you'; laughing at Rudy's chess hero, and how he achieved death at 64, the number of plates in a chess square, and how he hated Jews, even though his mommy was one, and how he was anti-American even though he was one; roflmao-ing at the fact that Mahatma Gandhi was involved in incest, according to Adrian; laughing at Bentinck's 'Michael Jackson baby' in English today, the last day that you were at Baulko; the first and last class photo we took today in sixth period English, where we all came together as an actual class for the first time (Josh was analing me!); in roll-call today, where we jokingly asked not to do our German test because you were leaving, and Frau Nicolle said that you'd want to do it as your last test to remember German (or some shit like that); the experimental report shit we did for Science, and how we ended up getting different scores (that was so unfair-my results were all wrong LOL); how we gave you the 'confetti cannon' in the Music prac room after school yesterday, and how you raged about Mr. Page; you falling on top of Mr. Page during a Music prac class; how Dr. Croyle bitched at you in your last PE lesson; how you bludged everything this week, taking photos and chatting instead, and getting away with it; how you gave Annie your cooking apron and hat in Science ('Annie, you're doing Food Tech next year, you'll need it, it's good to have an extra one!'); how I refused to take a picture with you in period six English (you have no idea how much I regret it now...); how we laughed and got pissed at exams and assignment results (you always did well!); how you broke down early in Term 4, because you couldn't do ice skating with all of your friends in the library (I think it was in Science); how it had all seemed fake when you said you were going to America next year; how it seemed as if you would never leave, staying in Baulko forever; how I'd thought there was plenty of time, when there wasn't; how I thought I wouldn't miss you very much, because I didn't know how much it would hurt; how sweet it was to see Bing Lee and you; and...
Just how you much you were to me.
I promise...
That you were the most hilarious person I've ever met.
That you are the most awesome chick in Baulko '09.
That you'll always be a member of 8Y, '09 Baulko.
That I won't forget you.
And one day we'll look back and think,
Hey, we shined pretty bright back then.
Goodbye, Hyejoo.
All the best for the future. (:
Just you and me.
And one day we'll look back and think,
Hey, we shined pretty bright back then
When we thought the world changed in a single blink
Maybe I'm wrong to think it'll come again
But it still doesn't change the fact
That even if the world crumbles away
Even without the fake mask and the act
I still hope for the dawn and pray
That you'll still reach out a hand and say
You won't leave me, and you never will
Because, you and me, until we're grey
We were meant to be, just you and me.
----
I was feeling random. (:
Hey, we shined pretty bright back then
When we thought the world changed in a single blink
Maybe I'm wrong to think it'll come again
But it still doesn't change the fact
That even if the world crumbles away
Even without the fake mask and the act
I still hope for the dawn and pray
That you'll still reach out a hand and say
You won't leave me, and you never will
Because, you and me, until we're grey
We were meant to be, just you and me.
----
I was feeling random. (:
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Surviving Christmas holidays.
I failed miserably in Year 8 (well, not really; but it's just an exaggeration); as a once-dedicated and high-achieving student, I feel that my pride and reputation has been severely damaged. Thus, I shall devise a plan for the upcoming Year 9 to make sure I do not wreck my life again, like I had done in Year 7 and 8.
Why am I doing this? I think a goal is appropriate in this situation to help me stay motivated. I came up with one answer: to achieve high grades to qualify for any university I desire, so that I may attend the same university as Spencer, at the University of British Columbia (UBC). I am an ambitious person; I decided, as soon as I realised I was in love with him, that I would not become a burden to him.
Over the arduous Christmas holidays, I thought of a few activities to ensure I do not squander my precious break from school and work. They are:
--> FINISH YEAR 9 MATH TEXTBOOK BY DEC 31
--> [School] Get all books/folders/labels/stationery ready for next year
--> [School] Write out Year 9 math notes and arrange folder
--> [Piano] Flying - Steve Barakatt / Eternity - Steve Barakatt
--> [Social] Get more music into my iPod
--> [Aesthetics] GET A NEW FUCKING HAIR STRAIGHTENER!
--> [Aesthetics] WEBCAM PLEASE. I can't take luvos with a digital camera!
Now that I think about it, that's a pretty hefty list. I thought it over quite a few times though, and I think they're all quite realistic. Go Sara, go! (:
By the way. Spencer, all of this, everything I try and do, is for you; so that we may be together. I love you, just so much. (:
Why am I doing this? I think a goal is appropriate in this situation to help me stay motivated. I came up with one answer: to achieve high grades to qualify for any university I desire, so that I may attend the same university as Spencer, at the University of British Columbia (UBC). I am an ambitious person; I decided, as soon as I realised I was in love with him, that I would not become a burden to him.
Over the arduous Christmas holidays, I thought of a few activities to ensure I do not squander my precious break from school and work. They are:
--> FINISH YEAR 9 MATH TEXTBOOK BY DEC 31
--> [School] Get all books/folders/labels/stationery ready for next year
--> [School] Write out Year 9 math notes and arrange folder
--> [Piano] Flying - Steve Barakatt / Eternity - Steve Barakatt
--> [Social] Get more music into my iPod
--> [Aesthetics] GET A NEW FUCKING HAIR STRAIGHTENER!
--> [Aesthetics] WEBCAM PLEASE. I can't take luvos with a digital camera!
Now that I think about it, that's a pretty hefty list. I thought it over quite a few times though, and I think they're all quite realistic. Go Sara, go! (:
By the way. Spencer, all of this, everything I try and do, is for you; so that we may be together. I love you, just so much. (:
Monday, November 23, 2009
Dreamed.
She blushed softly even as he gave her a little kiss; shyly she leaned on his shoulders, a smile spreading across her lips that seemed to carry an angel’s blessing. An evergreen meadow stretched out luxuriously all around the two, surrounding them in a little world of willowy trees that seemed to sigh with omniscient bliss and flowers that glistened with the beauty of sweetened love. The sky, an everlasting Eden that demanded a kiss for each entry into eternity, shone with an azure aura that brushed over the pain and tears even as the boy grasped her hand with gentleness; together they sat, leaning towards each other as the flow of time quietly curled around the two, leaving them to glorify an idle world where each other was all that needed.
The two made their way to the lone cherry tree that blossomed with flowers of innocent eternity. Alabaster petals danced with the nymphs and fairies in the shimmering sunlight, leaving a hazy path sparkling with dusts of eternity that had blown away from the kingdom of Tomorrow. Tomorrow, where the heart truly rejoiced and the soul flapped its wings and flew! It was close, so very close; so near that it felt as if Tomorrow would come if one leaped into the sky far enough. The boy swayed to the wind, his eyes mellow and knowing; with a little smile tucked upon his lips, he gently patted the girl's bowed head and walked over to the edge of the little hill. A strong gust of wind gave wings to the white petals as it enveloped the boy's lean body. The girl smiled; even though tears made their way to her cherubic cheeks. She took a step forward; and opened her frail arms to embrace the billowing curtain of hopeful flowers. There she saw her beloved, welcoming her into his world; and together, they were no longer two, but one: and so they stepped into eternity where the golden hue never ceased to shine and the seeds of hope blossomed into flowers of happiness.
------
Inspired from a lone dream; I'm rather satisfied with this work, for it seems like I've managed to capture a vestige of my soul into words. (:
The two made their way to the lone cherry tree that blossomed with flowers of innocent eternity. Alabaster petals danced with the nymphs and fairies in the shimmering sunlight, leaving a hazy path sparkling with dusts of eternity that had blown away from the kingdom of Tomorrow. Tomorrow, where the heart truly rejoiced and the soul flapped its wings and flew! It was close, so very close; so near that it felt as if Tomorrow would come if one leaped into the sky far enough. The boy swayed to the wind, his eyes mellow and knowing; with a little smile tucked upon his lips, he gently patted the girl's bowed head and walked over to the edge of the little hill. A strong gust of wind gave wings to the white petals as it enveloped the boy's lean body. The girl smiled; even though tears made their way to her cherubic cheeks. She took a step forward; and opened her frail arms to embrace the billowing curtain of hopeful flowers. There she saw her beloved, welcoming her into his world; and together, they were no longer two, but one: and so they stepped into eternity where the golden hue never ceased to shine and the seeds of hope blossomed into flowers of happiness.
------
Inspired from a lone dream; I'm rather satisfied with this work, for it seems like I've managed to capture a vestige of my soul into words. (:
Saturday, November 21, 2009
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